Friday, November 09, 2007


If you’re squeamish then close your eyes when you read this one. It all started on Sunday night after my mom called. I get second call from someone I haven’t talked to in a while and it caught me completely off guard. The conversation was something like.

Me: “PPrrrroonto” (in a happy tone)
Him: “Hi Jeff. It’s Martin. How are you doing?”
Me: “I’m doing ok. How are things in Martina Franca?” (Slightly cautious now)
Him: “Ok. Listen. It’s been over 6 months since you were here last.”
Me: “OH really. (@#$%!#%$#^%$#^#$^#!*) It’s been that long. You don’t say…” (Trying not to show fear or anxiety)

Yes Martin is my evil dentist. Sorry, I’ve associated “evil” with “dentist” for a long time and for the sake of this blog I’ll try to refrain from saying evil dentist. I think I’ve made it clear that as a kid I liked the sweets and some things you never outgrow. My visits to the dentist were never fun. So the rest of the call is a blur. Me agreeing he’s right I need to get in there for a visit and me also thinking “How do I put this off for the maximum time possible?” In the end the appointment was made for Thursday night. I would have to go to Martin the English Dentist in Martina Franca unless a meteorite hit me, but that didn’t happen.
Just to make this visit more interesting he changed the location of his office. He gave me directions over the phone but I was so upset about my lack of excuses that I didn’t take very good notes. I had basically written down. “By the orange tower of the Citroen dealership. On the left. Ground floor.” Looking at the paper Wednesday night I thought, “I have no idea where I’m going.” I did a search for the Citroen dealership on Pagine Gialle (the Italian Yellow Pages online). I highly recommend this site. Holy crap they are good. It’s like Mapquest and the Yellow Pages together. So I find the Citroen dealership in Pagine Gialle and it looks easy enough. At least I could get there and then call him to guide me in from there. That’s exactly how it went too.
Now this visit was supposed to be a cleaning so why does my jaw ache this morning? I’ll tell you why, because I’m paying twice for my love of sweets. The fillings that I got some 20 odd years ago are wearing out and last night he (the evil dentist) had to drill one out and put a new one in. So let this be a lesson to all you kids out there. Brush your dam teeth! And listen to your mother about sweets! Still poor “Ozzies” by my elementary school might have gone out of business if it wasn’t for a few hundred sugar hungry kids and me….
The photo below is, yes, in my mouth!! The silver thing you see is the next to go. Next…. Wednesday…. AAAAHHHHH…. I HAVE TO GO BACK. The tooth right in front of it is one he did last night. At least now my teeth look better.


Anthony and Lisa said...

I detest going to the dentist and I place the blame on an awful orthodontist (and that I can't get enough of cookies and pastries)! Hope your visit next week goes as well as can be expected.

Delina said...

The reason you (and I) associate evil with dentists is that there are so many out there who HURT. I've been to so many evil dentists. I have found one a little less evil than the rest but unfortunately he's in another country.

Take it like a man :D

Lori said...

hi jeffo.

Sorry about the teeth issue. Just think you have another 20 years on the new fillings and by the time those wear out, you'll be old and have dentures.

Love, lori

Jeff Gromen said...

Thanks. And with Martin being a friend it's really strange. I've never been friends with an evil dentist before.

I was going to add something like what you mentioned to the blog but then I remembered I have to go see him again.
I refuse to take it like a man :P

These are new super bionic plastic fillings that will last a 100 years. I hope! Or just give me the dentures now.